


And Pay No Worship To the Garish Sun

by Shenandoah76209



Series: Chains [8]
Category: Firefly, Pitch Black (2000), Riddick (2013), Serenity (2005), The Chronicles of Riddick Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:55:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25215853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shenandoah76209/pseuds/Shenandoah76209
Summary: So Mal's heart is in the right place...but as usual, his plans do not fall in line with his intentions.  Honestly, did he really think they would?
Relationships: Richard B. Riddick/River Tam
Series: Chains [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/411024
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	And Pay No Worship To the Garish Sun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chisza](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chisza/gifts), [LazyDaisy85](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazyDaisy85/gifts).



> And when I shall die,  
> Take him and cut him out in little stars,  
> And he will make the face of heaven so fine  
> That all the world will be in love with night  
> And pay no worship to the garish sun.  
> -Romeo and Juliet – William Shakespeare

It went against the grain to attempt to discuss anything personal with Zoe. Unspoken was his trust in her and his firm belief that her private life was just that. Her life. Private. As in none of his business. At least he’d been firmly informed of that fact when she’d begun sleeping with Wash. And then again when she’d married the Pilot.

After several years of coasting along and occasional clashes when private and public collided, Mal thought they’d found something of a rhythm. He hadn’t been unaware of Zoe and Wash’s infrequent (though becoming more so) arguments/debates about having a child. He generally came down on Wash’s side of it being ‘not so great of an idea’ while their lives were often in peril. _Serenity_ was the best ship in the ‘verse but working on her was not for the faint of heart.

And then…Lilac, Beaumonde, an Operative, everyone in the ‘verse who’d ever helped them or worked with them dead. Miranda… and his plan. His plan to wave a red flag in front of the raging bull that was the Reavers. ‘They won’t see this coming.’ And they hadn’t.

What was the old saying, the best laid plans of mice and men…something something? Or, as he’d heard Riddick say grimly, if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans.

Bad enough they’d lost Book.

Losing Wash, not because of the Operative and his ‘leave no ground to go to’ policy but because of Reavers. Because Mal’s plan had led to Reavers chasing _Serenity_ across the Burnham Quadrant. In the name of exposing the Alliance for what it was to the entire ‘verse.

Before Miranda, before Wash, Zoe had occasionally called River ‘Little One’, as an affectionate nickname. Wash had liked River and despite her concerns, that had Zoe liking River some too. During the Lilac job Zoe and River had been able to work together, Zoe trusting River’s Reading enough to keep some young idiot from being a hero and getting people killed.

But after… when Wash was gone, everything warm about Zoe had frozen over. She was still his right arm but she wasn’t anything else except concerned about Jason growing inside her. Maybe if he hadn’t been so wound up with grief and guilt himself he might have seen it sooner.

Maybe if Inara hadn’t had to leave, she might have pointed it out. Simon might not have noticed, too busy courting Kaylee, helping rebuild _Serenity_ and keeping them all in good health while they did it. And helping River get herself fixed up to above par functionality. Jayne wasn’t the type to say anything even if he did notice it, mostly because he didn’t figure anyone would listen to him anyway. And Kaylee being caught up in Simon and fixing her girl…well Kaylee never did see anything but the best in people.

It wouldn’t have occurred to Kaylee anymore than it had occurred to him, that Zoe blamed River for Wash’s death.

And nobody knew that River heard all of them, everything, all the time. For all that she’d said words to that effect, they hadn’t understood what they meant. River even explained it, ‘she comprehends, she doesn’t understand’. Hell, he’d had to look up the definitions in the dictionary before he got what she was saying.

And then River got taken. Simon nearly killed. And they had a whole new set of problems on their hands. A doctor who was figuring out his own physical therapy because he was missing part of a leg. No pilot except Mal. Kaylee was terrified (so was Simon). Jayne was ready to go out and kill someone (and he didn’t seem picky as to who).

But Zoe seemed better. As if a crisis had helped her find her normal again. She hadn’t unbent so much as to smile too much but she did communicate in more than monosyllabic words and as few of them as she could. She’d focused on the job, on keeping the boat going, and for a couple years it was as if he had at least half of his old friend back.

More the fool he.

Because then they found River.

* * *

It wasn’t often he found Zoe’s behavior disturbing. When she’d taken up with Wash yeah, when she was pregnant and craving dill pickles and molasses (at the same time). Something downright unsettling seeing the woman bite into a healthy size pickle so enthusiastic-like. Made you rethink letting teeth anywhere near tender parts.

But he thought she was getting better, grieving certainly but working her way through it. He’d really turned into some kind of _bèn dàn_.

Aboard River’s boat, _Sanguine_ (and wasn’t that name a kick in the teeth), a respectable little Knorr transport, he sat and listened to everything he and Zoe and Kaylee had done to his Little Albatross. And damned if he didn’t blame her for not coming back. Not right then, no matter how much he wanted her to return to _Serenity_.

Sure, he’d had the odd angry thought that maybe Inara wouldn’t have left if things were more settled, more normal. And of all the things on _Serenity_ River kinda shouted ‘not normal’ pretty loud. But much as he had wanted Inara to stay, he wouldn’t trade River for her. Even if River had left of her own accord, Inara wouldn’t have come back. One had nothing to do with the other.

And who ever would have thought it would be Jayne lambasting him over that. Jayne, whose impatience and greed exceeded gorram near everyone’s. The uneducated, ignorant gunhand didn’t blame her, but Mal had. And now Mal didn’t need Book around to feel guilty and judged.

A glance at Kaylee’s sweet face proved that he hadn’t been the only one with wayward thoughts he should have rightly been ashamed of. And was. And a look over at Zoe to see how she was taking these revelations… _Āi yā_ , this was very much of the bad. His oldest friend’s expression might have been carved from stone.

Much as he wanted River back home where she belonged, that’s how much Zoe didn’t want her back.

Simon and Jayne didn’t seem surprised when River flat out said she didn’t belong on _Serenity_ anymore. But he guessed they knew their _mèi mei_ better than anyone else, except maybe that huge _hún dàn_ River lovingly (oh dear lord someone bleach his eyes and ears) referred to as her _bàng jiār_.

He wouldn’t like the man. Wouldn’t have liked him if he were a Core dandy to make Simon look disreputable (though the doc did a good job at that himself these days) with a genius brain and education besides. But this _gǒu niáng yǎng de_ goggle wearing _yānguò de hún dàn_ (not that he was castrated or River wouldn’t be so taken with him, though Mal was more than willing to make the curse a reality if Jayne would help him out) was huge, mean looking, more dangerous than an Operative and Jubal Early combined.

The sound of that growl coming from a human (not too sure about that really) throat had been more unnerving than River at her most _diān dǎo_. The weird dog thing had been bad enough, but to have Riddick snarling as if he had the sharper teeth of the two…no, Mal had gotten chills and the hair on the back of his neck standing up when he caught that sound. _Chāng lì_ , _chāng kuáng_ and _xié'è_ didn’t even begin to cover it.

No, he wouldn’t like it. But until he could convince River to come home he’d have to lump it as his mother used to say. (Like it or lump it, who’n the hell came up with that ridiculous saying anyway?) And if he ever wanted that to happen he’d need to have some words with Zoe.

Because sure as Jayne’s eyes were blue and Kaylee’s heart was tender, Zoe would not welcome River back aboard.

* * *

He bided his time, waited until they were out in the Black, River and her big _hún dàn bàng jiār_ on their way to their own job, before he asked Zoe to come into the galley and talk.

If this had been something the rest of the crew didn’t know he’d have talked on the bridge. But seeing as River had spilled the beans, and Riddick had pretty much thrown the pot and kettle (with an expression that said the man would rather throw the stove) at them with his pointed remarks, everyone on the boat knew that Zoe had a problem with River.

“Sir, there a problem with the job?” Zoe stood at ease, her posture familiar, so much so he might have overlooked the tension that rode her shoulders and neck.

“No, no trouble with the job, not that I know of, not yet,” Mal shook his head. “Just wondering how long you plan to place the blame for Wash’s death on River?”

“Sir I don’t—” And now she was trying to lie. Damn. How’d he let this get so far?

“No,” Mal folded his arms. “No, you ain’t ever admitted to it. But I know damn well that River doesn’t lie, not to people she considers family. That girl knowingly went into merc hands, Guild merc hands, to save our skins.” (Which was a level of hell beyond child molesters and people who talked in theatre.) Zoe’s face twisted just a touch, a hint of a wince, as good as a shout that he wasn’t wrong. He forced himself to unfold his arms and got a cup of coffee just for something to do. “So, you have been blaming her. And likely Simon for bringing her on the boat.”

“If she hadn’t been here—”

“She’d likely be dead. Or back in those labs and Simon right there with her,” Mal snapped. “And all those poor folks on Miranda and roaming the Black cursed with madness and bloodlust would still be voiceless.”

“But Wash would be alive,” Zoe ground out the words. “My husband would be alive. Our friends, our contacts, they’d be alive too.”

“And who knows, maybe in another ten years they’d have tried again, something new, to try and make people better,” He shook his head. “We fought a war for the right to go our way. For the right to live as we chose. Those people died without even knowing they were being killed. What were we fighting for if it wasn’t for them to be heard?”

“If it wasn’t for her, Wash would be alive,” His First Mate repeated evenly.

“No,” Mal put his mug down before his clenching hand broke the stoneware. “No, if it weren’t for me, Wash would be alive. River wasn’t in any condition to make decisions, or choices or even a plan. She put everything into finding Miranda for us. But then it was up to us.” He stared her down, “And I chose. I chose to fight again. When I saw what they’d done to Haven? To all our friends, just like they did to Miranda? So they can make their better world. I chose. Wash is dead because of my plan. Because of me.”

She stared at him, cold as death and he knew he’d have to prod her, “Why didn’t you ever blame me? Confront me about that crazy gorram plan? You’d questioned me plenty of times before. Not in front of the crew but you never once hesitated to call me out if I was risking all of your lives for foolishness.”

No reply, all right, keep going then, “Because you agreed. Because it was the only way to get that Operative off our backs. Expose that secret to the ‘verse and then maybe they don’t hunt her anymore. Maybe we can go our way.”

“I never agreed,” Zoe’s voice came from behind clenched teeth.

“No? But you never said stop. Never said no. Never told me, ‘sail on without us, we’re staying here’,” Mal wondered how far he’d have to push and mentally shook his head when she didn’t react. All the way then. “I said right then, ‘Anybody doesn't wanna fly with me anymore, this is your port of harbor.’ Truth is Zoe, Wash isn’t dead because of River. He isn’t dead because of me. He’s dead because of you. Because you decided to follow, like always, and you didn’t put your foot down and keep him out of harms way. Your husband is dead because you didn’t stand up to me.”

Oh that did it, she was well and truly pissed now, about damn time. And shit, this was gonna hurt.

The fist that knocked his head back and sideways felt like a brick. And Mal was not to proud to admit that he stumbled and used the galley counter to keep his feet. “That all you got? You got your husband killed Zoe, left your child without a father,” He threw the words at her.

Oh hell, now his nose was bleeding and he was on the ground, thank Book’s dear and fluffy lord he’d put the coffee down, “How dare you. How dare you sir?” Damn she sounded like an angry cat, hissing out her words. “How dare you drag us into another war? And how dare you get him killed! And damn you why didn’t you put them off on the next rock we came to instead of making them crew!”

“Because it was my choice,” Mal looked up at her. “Now you can go on and kick me while I’m down. I’m in no position to stop you. But the truth is, Wash being dead ain’t anyone’s fault but the Reavers, and them who made Reavers in the first place.” He climbed to his feet feeling like an arthritic ivy plant as he hung onto the counter again, “And you can try to keep on blaming River. But every time I catch you at it I’m gonna do this again Zoe. Every time. That little girl went through eighteen months of hell. Trying to save all of us from death and worse.”

He straightened up and rotated his jaw, wincing as it popped, “I think she’s paid enough for the mistakes other folks have made.” There, tears, just a touch of them, gleaming at the corners of her eyes. Maybe now she’d start to truly grieve.

“Now I’m gonna go down and see Simon, make sure nothing’s actually broken,” He tried to gather some captainy dignity and gave it up as a bad job. “Why don’t you go and see to your son. Try to remember she helped to keep him safe too.”

* * *

Simon took one look at him and shook his head, pointing to the table and gesturing for him to sit. “Mal, do I dare ask whose knuckles I’ll be putting a weave on?”

“Who’d you think Doc,” Mal gave him a look he’d learned from River, suggesting eloquently that Simon was a boob.

“Jayne could’ve told you to let it go for a few more days,” The Doctor sighed as he began examining Mal’s face.

“Why’d Jayne be tellin’ me that?” He wasn’t seeing the connection.

“Because Jayne spent a couple hours yesterday telling Mattie about Wash and how he died so that Mattie wouldn’t make the same mistake again,” Simon moved Mal’s jaw in a way that made the Captain flinch.

“What mistake was that,” Mal got the question out when Simon turned to grab an ominous looking claw type machine.

Simon adjusted the claw pieces so Mal’s jaw, chin and cheekbone were in the metallic grip as he answered, “Mattie asked Zoe how she met her husband.” Now Mal’s wince had nothing to do with the needles the claw appendage began to puncture him with and Simon nodded his agreement. “Apparently Zoe’s response was so vitriolic Mattie nearly cried, and she’s not a girl who cries easily.”

Mal would have sighed but he didn’t think moving while needles plunged into his face was a good idea. And Simon wasn’t finished anyway, “So if you’re trying to get Zoe to get past the anger/blame portion of the grieving process you need to be more aware of what’s happening on your boat.” The Doctor raised a sardonic eyebrow before removing the clampy/claw thingamajig from Mal’s face. “You are, as you are so fond of mention, the Captain and in charge of the ship.”

“Get the feelin’ you’re not so pleased with me either,” Mal touched a tentative finger to his jaw, or tried to, and got it swatted down not too gently.

“Well then the blows to your head may have jarred your observational skills loose,” Damn, the Doc could be gorram sarcastic when he chose to be.

“Well I know why Zoe punched me—” Simon’s hands closed around Mal’s nose and did something jarring and extremely painful with an accompanying crunching sound and Mal yelped. “ _Zài dì yù de dì qī gè guā yuē jī zhōng shì shén me_ Doc!”

“Your nose is set and I’ve injected your jaw with a bone mender,” Simon handed him a cold pack. “Keep this on your nose and jaw for the next couple hours. Try not to swallow too much blood. It won’t do your stomach any good.” He stripped off the gloves he’d put on when he saw Mal and disposed of them. “And before you start putting Zoe through hell because you want her to start the grieving process, you might consider the fact that you haven’t exactly been setting a stellar example of that yourself.”

“Wha—the---what?” Bone menders made your bones feel stiff and a busted nose didn’t exactly aid in articulation.

“Have you mourned for Wash? Or any of the people we lost?” Simon Tam could give Book a run for his money on making folks feel guilty and judged. Then he held up one of those elegant long fingered hands, “Don’t bother to make up a lie about the privacy of grief.” Hell, Mal thought River was supposed to be the Reader.

Simon shooed (there really wasn’t any other word for it) Mal out of the infirmary. “My sister is happy with her _bàng jiār_. She feels safe with him. As much as I love her, she wouldn’t feel as safe here as she does with him.” He shook his head, “Also, and this is just as important as her safety, Mal, she’s in love with him. And he’d do anything for her.”

Well hell, there wasn’t much that Mal could say to that. And Simon knew it from the way he kept going, “And if you’re pushing Zoe to grieve, it’ll likely go a lot better if you’re not doing it so you can have River back on the boat. She’s not coming back Mal.” He took off the white lab coat he donned habitually when he entered the infirmary and strapped on the gun belt Jayne had worked so hard on making him wear when he wasn’t doctoring before he looked up at the Captain again. “Strangely enough, I do think that Zoe needs to grieve, and accept Wash’s death. But whether she does or doesn’t, River doesn’t consider this boat home anymore.”

“But it is,” Mal protested through the cold pack.

“No Mal, it isn’t,” Simon smiled sadly. “I wish it weren’t true, but too much has happened. She’s been through too much, heard too much of our thoughts. Yours, Inara’s, Zoe’s, Kaylee’s, she said as much.”

“She’s still crew, family,” Maybe he was hanging onto something that was already half gone. But he couldn’t just let her waltz off with that _liú kǒu shuǐ de biǎo zi hé hóu zi de bèn ér zi_ without any form or protest or attempt to get her back.

“Mal, just because she isn’t on the boat, it doesn’t mean she’s not family,” Simon was giving him the ‘you’re a boob’ look. Funny how everyone on the boat seemed to have picked up that look from River.

There really wasn’t much Mal could say to that.

* * *

Much as Mal would have liked River’s wedding to have happened later, after Zoe’d recovered some more, (or really never if he could do the choosing) Riddick wasn’t taking no for an answer. River had said yes and as far as Riddick was concerned that was it. Why put off until tomorrow what he could do immediately.

Zoe got through the ceremony and reception with a minimum of speech and a judicious amount of alcohol. One of Johns’ crew tried flirting with her, Mal was impressed he got her to talk at all.

River and Riddick were dancing, and Jayne was talking with Johns. Mal made a point of keeping an eye on Jayne whenever the mercs were around. Considering Higgins hadn’t ever taken the price off his head. You never knew when someone might decide it was worth knocking Jayne over the head and carting him off.

Although for Guild mercs Johns and crew didn’t seem too bad. Their newest addition was certainly prettier than the rest of them. A few dances with her and Mal was starting to see the benefit of having mercs as friends.

The kicker was hearing how Sheydra had joined the merc Guild, how mercs had taken her the way they’d taken River. From a Companion’s training house. And those same mercs had tried to take Riddick and River on. Just when he’d thought people couldn’t get any stupider or suicidal.

Sheydra didn’t discuss exactly what Riddick and River had done to the mercs, beyond killing them, but the grim smile that twitched across that lovely mouth suggested they’d done something that embodied justice.

“Your First Mate seems to dislike the bride,” Sheydra observed thoughtfully.

“There’s some…blame being apportioned to River…concerning the death of Zoe’s husband,” Mal muttered keeping his voice as low as he could. Zoe had damn sharp ears and Riddick even sharper.

“Because of the Miranda wave,” Sheydra murmured back. “And what happened after?” Mal’s surprise must have communicated itself somehow (likely through his eyebrows popping up and his jaw dropping in a silent ‘what’) because the ex-Companion turned Merc chuckled a bit. It was a low throaty sound that Mal wasn’t too proud to admit went straight to his belly. “You’re hardly inscrutable Malcolm.” When he tilted his head she lifted one shoulder in a shrug, “You’d be amazed at the access the Merc’s guild has to information. And when you combine that with a Companion’s contacts…”

“So you know what happened,” Mal shook his head. “At the time, I didn’t see any other way.”

“People backed into a corner rarely do,” Sheydra smiled, understanding and comfort filling her face. “But it doesn’t help her now, does it?”

“It really doesn’t,” He sighed. “I tried confronting her about it. Got my jaw cracked and my nose broke for the trouble.”

“Then I’d suggest someone else talk to her,” Bright green eyes looked towards Zoe and back at him. “You should wave Inara. She’s doing work as a counselor as well as teaching at the House. She’d have a unique understanding of what Zoe is going through. After all, she’s been mourning too.”

“I…” That would be a helluva conversation. But for Zoe he’d do it. “Yeah, that’s a good thought. Didn’t know she was doing counseling too.”

“She’s very good at it,” Sheydra smiled. “Most of a Companion’s work is listening, in one way or another.”

“Yeah, I remember hearing something along those lines.” Mal nodded and mentally made a note to wave Inara before they left Persephone. “Meantime, can I fetch you a glass of Kaylee’s ‘wine’?”

“That would be lovely, thank you,” She smiled again and he remembered just how dangerous a Companion’s wiles could be. Before she picked up a gun.

* * *

Getting the wave from River and Riddick wasn’t entirely unexpected. The news it held was. Simon’s face was as Jayne would say ‘high-larious’, when he heard. Doc sat down hard in a chair as if he wasn’t sure that fake leg was steady enough and his knees were made of jello.

“You’re sure,” Simon blinked. “Pregnant?”

“Doc, he done played the wave for ya twicet,” Jayne chuckled. “Thought you were s’posed to be bright, top three percent an’ all.”

At the end of the table Zoe cracked one of her rare smiles, “I’d say River and Riddick are due for an interesting time.”

“Ain’t that some sorta curse,” Mattie wondered as she made coffee.

“May you live in interesting times,” Mal nodded. He shrugged and began to set the table, putting a fruit cup in front of Zoe for Jason. “But then, when ain’t things interesting around those two.”

Zoe didn’t quite laugh, but she cracked another smile as she looked down at her son, “Guess we’ll see.”

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: So I had a hard time ending this without spoiling the next one but I think I managed. I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> Chinese Translations:
> 
> bèn dàn (fool / idiot)
> 
> Āi yā (interjection of wonder, shock or admiration)
> 
> mèi mei (little sister)
> 
> hún dàn (individual who has at least two biological fathers and one biological mother - bastard / scoundrel / bastard / hoodlum / wretch)
> 
> bàng jiār (lover / partner)
> 
> gǒu niáng yǎng de (son of a bitch (lit. "raised by a dog mother"))
> 
> yānguò de hún dàn (Castrated bastard)
> 
> diān dǎo (To turn upside down / to reverse / back to front / confused / deranged / crazy)
> 
> Chāng lì (mad and violent)
> 
> chāng kuáng (savage / furious)
> 
> xié'è (sinister / vicious / wicked / evil)
> 
> Zài dì yù de dì qī gè guā yuē jī zhōng shì shén me (What in the seventh sphincter of hell)
> 
> liú kǒu shuǐ de biǎo zi hé hóu zi de bèn ér zi (Stupid son of a drooling whore and monkey)


End file.
